It's enough to make you think in single, third-person sentences.  Half the stuff that comes to mind is really not Facebook appropriate.  Hell, it's barely appropriate to say outloud.

Shelly is... not drunk enough... obsessing about her obsessions... smoking... spending all her time hunched over her laptop playing Scrabble... wishing this woman wasn't married... fantasizing about the Cantor... frisky as hell... biting her nails... picking her nose.

I suppose in reality most of them just aren't that interesting.  Being interesting, or trying to be interesting is not an easy thing to maintain.  It usually requires copious amounts of mind-altering substances ... like depression, or anxiety

Shelly has made some decisions.  She's decided that she's special, but not better.  She's decided that there is someone out there, somewhere, who can handle me... who wants to handle me (eyebrow wiggle).

I've decided -- and I know I've decided this before -- that I've got too many things I need to do to worry about finding a partner.  Live, damnit.  Smile, flirt and enjoy ALL the beauty around you.  Revel in it.  Glorious and divine....