It's been a rollercoaster in my head for the past several weeks.  The additional input of Facebook and friends far away has pretty much maxxed me out.  Perhaps I was hiding too long in the realm of Just Not Caring, or perhaps just caring about myself.

So this big, bad, 3-D world where people interact is just dangerous.  Dangerous to my feelings, and potentially dangerous to theirs as well.  I'm up, I'm down, I want more, I want less.  It's nutty.  As nutty as I am, even if completely undiagnosed.

I spent time today at a co-worker's house, installing stuff on her home computer so she can work from there.  She's undergoing chemo, after a mastectomy, and dealing.  Her husband is one year past a horrific stroke and brain hemmorage that has amazingly left him alive, but different.  She says to me, I don't know how much more I can take.

I tell her that the Rabbis say God only tests those who can handle it.  She says she thinks they don't know squat.  I focus on not crying.

Ya know, big picture-wise, my life is golden.  Sure, I'm occassionally lonely.  Sure, I could use a hug.  Or something.  But I've got a job -- with all it's stresses intact -- and both my legs work, and both of my arms, and my hands.  And I can bang out an awesome rhythm.

Life is just fine.