And a slightly different take on it, as I begin to realize this:  I am extra competitive.  That's what it is.  All of that mental fist-fighting with Marilyn for 18 years... all the aggression... the need to control in the name of improvement. 

It's the things that make me good at managing, I guess.  Managing people is this weird thing.  You have to interact.  You have to choose carefully how to interact, but you also really need to just be real.  Then you run away and hide in your office, your cube, behind your monitor.

I know I can be too honest, too intense.  I can suck the life out of a person, I'm pretty sure.  I am greedy and constantly want more.

I know that I can read people really really well, and then not at all.  Too quick for my own good a lot of times.  Rushing.  Mega-multi-tasking.

And then I get stuck.